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Mad Alchemy La Femme Chamois Creme

Item # MAA0002

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Item # MAA0002


Chamois creme for the most faint of bums

For the most part, the cult of chamois creme is a boy's club. 'Tis a pity, as the salves are designed to save the bottoms of men and women alike. To help remedy this disparity, Mad Alchemy has concocted their La Femme Chamois Creme. It has the same base lube and essential oils as their other creams, but adds lavender oil and ups the concentrations of tea tree, grapefruit and peppermint essential oils. Lavender is an age-old antiseptic and pain-reliever, peppermint is also a pain-reliever and adds a little cooling. Tea tree oil works the anti-viral and anti-fungal fronts to help keep infections at bay.

The scent is a little more flowery than Mad Alchemy's other chamois preparations with notes of citrus, but it will also work magic for men. Both sexes can dab it, rub it, or slather it on the sensitive skin or the chamois itself to lubricate and protect that delicate interface with the saddle.

It's worth noting that all three Mad Alchemy chamois cream formulations work with the same base ingredients. As such, they share viscosity, lubricity, and are safe for both hommes and femmes. They are all veggie-based with high-quality ingredients.

The Mad Alchemy La Femme Crème comes in a 4 oz (120ml) tub.

Tech Specs

4fl oz
water, brassica campestris (rapeseed) oil, cetearyl isonoanoate, ceteareth20, sodium polyacrylate, polypropylene glycol, cetearyl alcohol, glcerin, ceteareth12, cetyl palmitae, proprietary essential oil blend
Recommended Use:

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Avg. ride time: 2h 31m per week
  • Average ride time is based on Strava activity over the last 3 months. Give your reviews credibility by connecting your account.

Horrible Strong Smell

    I put it on my hand and couldn't get the horrible smell off -even after repeated washings. I can't attest to how it works, because I was allergic to the smell. I am trying to find someone to give it to, but can't find any friends who want it.

    Pretty Cool

    • Familiarity: I've put it through the wringer

    Works well for a chamois cream. I don't have any complaints in the product itself, but in time I've come to dislike the product container. It is simply messy ... debris clings to the edges of the lid, and the cream itself is constantly tipsy turby in the jar so expect to be managing a little bit of a mess in the jar always. But the cream itself works really well, doesn't seem to irritate or wear off easily, and has a light scent, but nothing offensive.

    Avg. ride time: 13m per week
    • Average ride time is based on Strava activity over the last 3 months. Give your reviews credibility by connecting your account.

    A good alternative to my fave Assos

    • Familiarity: I've put it through the wringer

    I already have a favorite brand, which is pretty "natural," but it has a fair amount of the "cooling" properties, something I don't always want. This MA is part of a grand experiment to find an alternative.

    As others have noted, it is runnier than some. I have to admit, seems a bit sticky. I've used it on short and long rides, and it's good - does what it needs to.

    The aroma is pleasing, but not strong. Thank goodness it's not fruity. It has a nice herbal smell.

    It goes on easily, and I initially wondered if it would have staying power - no worries, it does.

    On the bike, no issues whatsoever. Not too slippery or sticky - I really don't notice it at all - which is good.

    It washes off easily, and I have experienced no post-ride problems. I'm glad I tried it - I now have at least one alternative for my fave.

    Great product - It also washes out of the chamois well - very important for chamois longevity!

    All-Natural Hippy Cream

    • Familiarity: I've used it several times

    Love this stuff, I wanted a chamois cream which didn't contain Parabens, so this was a great all-natural option.

    Avg. ride time: 3h 57m per week
    • Average ride time is based on Strava activity over the last 3 months. Give your reviews credibility by connecting your account.

    It works but...

    • Familiarity: I've used it several times

    Much thinner than most creams, it works but it seems messier.

    Best Chamois Cream Ever

    • Familiarity: I've put it through the wringer

    I've tried numerous chamois creams over the past years. I even have some sponsor deals for more economical creams. I ride over 10,000 miles a year, racing nearly all disciplines on the bike. Mad Alchemy is simply superior. It has has a nice calming effect for mosquito bites and other minor skin irritations as well. Highly Recommend. My husband prefers the femme to the regular, nicer mild fragrance.

    Best chamois creme on the market

    • Familiarity: I've put it through the wringer

    There is no stinging on the skin and the lavender and tea tree oils keep the skin happy and healthy. The consistency is just right with no clogging of pores. Since I switched to La Femme, I haven't had a saddle sore in years.

    A+ product

      I like the herbal smell, it's soothing without being overpowering.

      Haven't had a problem in the saddle and prevents chafing and such. I'll use this till it's gone, and probably buy more.

      Good stuff.

      I love that it's veggie based, I don't particularly want chemicals I can't pronounce near my lady bits.

      Avg. ride time: 46m per week
      • Average ride time is based on Strava activity over the last 3 months. Give your reviews credibility by connecting your account.

      Good for Her... and Him

      • Familiarity: I've put it through the wringer

      I first used this stuff when I ran out of my own chamois creme and had to borrow some from my wife's supply, and was very impressed. Eventually I've tracked a supply down and so this is now my number one choice - it certainly seems to work very well for 2-3 hour mountain bike rides in Californian temperatures.

      Lady chamois cream...good for dudes too!

      • Familiarity: I've put it through the wringer

      So, I've used the M.A. "pro" chamois cream for a long while. M.A. was out of it, so I ordered the La Femme. Same stuff, but with more essential oils, and antibacterial properties. Okay.

      Jump forward a couple of years...

      Still using the La Femme. It's thinner, lighter, and smells oh-so-good.

      It's chock full of good stuff that will keep your under-carriage in top operating condition, regardless of internal, or external plumbing.

      I'm a big M.A. fanboy, and use ONLY M.A. chamois creams and embros. Peter knows what he's doing, and he does it well.

      No sting+ No sting

      • Familiarity: I've put it through the wringer

      This is a gently scented alternative to the icy sting of menthol chamois cream on your lady parts. Consistency is similar to hair conditioner. Not really thick like some of the others.