Skratcharita: The Cocktail to Get You Auld Lang Drunk
“Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?”
– Robert Burns, Auld Lang Syne
Regardless of whether your New Year’s celebrations historically generate a swill-fueled forgetting of all acquaintances, both new and auld (not to mention the question of where the hell your keys went), or sweating to the oldies on the trainer while watching some ambiguous, youthful face ravenously shout at a ball perched atop a brightly lit building, let Skratch accompany you along your journey. Why, with a little ingenuity and some booze, your cherished Exercise Hydration Mix will transform into an elixir worthy of the libation title.
Now this is the part where I’m obliged to tell you that the collective we of Competitive Cyclist do not condone your drinking habits, and of course, urge you to drink responsibly. However, I’d also like to add an additional tip of advice to our “cover our bases” clause, and that’s to be weary of going too hard in the paint with your go-to source for riding hydration. Sadly, we’ve all too often sworn off this drink or that kebab place after a hard night out a drinkin’, and the rationale behind this is obvious: That which had you retching the night away will haunt you like a phantom limb once you return to the realm of sobriety. With this in mind, remember that Skratch’s Hydration Mix rests comfortably at the pinnacle of hangover reduction tools in anyone’s arsenal, and nursing a hangover with the base ingredient of what gave you said hangover in the first place could spell a recipe for disaster.
If you take credence in the “drink responsibly” aspect of the obligatorily aforementioned, however, you’ll find yourself more or less hydrating as your debauchery progresses. This means that you’ll be right and tight come 8am, ready to do something altruistic for the less fortunate asleep on your floor while they wistfully dream away, unaware of the horrors that patiently wait for them outside of Morpheus’ embrace. Do something like get donuts, make coffee, or stir up some grits and potatoes—you know, nice things. And because you drank so responsibly with a power agent for a mixer, you’ll be starting your year off right on an early morning ride, while the remaining lot are holding their heads and trying to find anyone who can deliver a pizza at the crack of dawn.
On behalf of Competitive Cyclist and myself, Happy New Year to you all. It’s been fun. Strive on untiringly.